feeling ok~

I don't feel like shit.
FINALLY.
Ever since even before school started, I felt MISERABLE.
I would cry at least once every week.
I didn't want to see some of my friends even when I saw them.
I didn't want to be a part of NSU anymore.
I didn't want to be in Berkeley in general. But then again, how life was treating me, it was like god was telling me to get out of Berkeley to begin with. Goodness... my Christian friends are going to be like "It's a test!" okok! I get it! Please remember that I'm Buddhist, meaning that I probably did something shitty in this life or in my last to deserve this suffering.
But right at this moment (it might change... who knows!) I don't think about my balcony, I don't think about going home and staying there, I don't think about trying to ditch all the friends that I have and become a hermit, or stay in the lab, or anything.

haha, lets see how long this lasts. I give it a week.

Billy.

So, he was a baby for a few weeks, now he's advertising?
O, who's Billy you ask?
He's that guy, with the umbrella.
Or that guy with the upsidedown bicycle.
Or that guy with the computer.
Or that guy with the really weird hat that usually covers his face.
Billy is a character, and recently, he's been like... holding on to different fliers or jerseys...
I remember the first time I've ever saw him, he was holding a lap top on his head and like... going up and down on Sather gate. Ok, it's kinda hard to describe, but... I was like, so this is Berkeley huh.....
He supposedly eats out with some of the ppl in the diff clubs out on Sproul.... weird.....

EXCUSE ME?

Go away.
Just go away.
I know your reading this.
I don't need you to make me mad.
I don't need any kind of motivation from you.
Hell, of course I'm having more fun now than in HS, but what's it to you? Dad said that college is supposed to be the best times of my life, and I listen to my dad.
In case you were wondering, I lost about... 3-4 friends because of you. The state I'm in now for having just lost one friend?? THINK ABOUT THEN!! One of them, I can care less for if anything happens to her, in fact I hope something horrible does just so she can learn that her life ain't that bad at all. But the others...
I don't need you drunk texting me about how pissed you are. I don't need your random emails telling me anything. Just leave me the fuck alone! You have no business with me anymore. What's past is past, and I told you I won't regret it, but you acting like a stalker is making me regret ever meeting you. Ever talking to you. Ever giving you my phone number.
I see that you need to delete the past to move on. I don't. You're still there, it's just I can care less. I have more important things to worry about.
So.
What you gonna do now, huh?

im sick

Yes, I am sick. My nose runs, I cough, and I sneeze like there is no tomorrow.
But there is something else.
I'm sick OF doing the dishes.
I'm sick OF putting away the dishes.
I'm sick OF clearing the way so that people can walk through the living room.
I'm sick OF studying and not retaining anything.
I'm sick OF looking at flies.
I'm sick OF going to class.
I'm sick OF feeling like I've done something wrong.
I'm sick OF feeling jealous.
I'm sick OF being depressed.
I'm sick OF....
feeling useless...
Berkeley....

First time to Berkeley Bowl~!

Back to figures at Berkeley~
^___^
So then I go to Berkeley Bowl for the first time with Katiez, and then she needs to go, and I wait for the F bus to take me to my place. While waiting an old guy comes along, and HAHAHA he is just... an old man~
Our conversation:
"Hello, I'm going to wait for the bus with you"
~I smile and nod~
"This place is the best place to wait because more busses come this way!"
"O, that's why I'm waiting at this stop too!"
~He spots someone he knows~ "HI!" ~Goes and talks to him~ ~Comes back~ "That guy is a guy who works at Berkeley Bowl, but he knows his stuff." ~bus comes~ "This is my bus, BYE!"

XDDD
Old men are funny.

selfish post, forgive me...

this is going to be selfish and since no one reads this, it should be fine~

.... ar;ljdg;flkajsd;fkljasdf


I'm an idiot. That explains everything. Like a guy, and I'm an idiot for it.
I feel like I can't do anything. I can't call him, I can't IM, texting him comes disappointment... Like, I just cant do anything.... I CAN'T!
I want to talk to him, I want to hang out, I want to do so many things... but I can't.
I do and say the most retarded things, and what good does that do me? More distance? great...
I don't mean anything malice with what I do or say... it just happens...
I want to say I'm sorry, but what am I sorry for???

why do i like you? why do i care?
I DONT KNOW..............
you'd think that if this was just a small crush, you'd be out of my mind by now, but no, ur still there.... and it hurts...
everything hurts.... its stupid. it really is.
like really... its stupid..... v_______________v

everytime our hands touch.... i just... cant help but melt a little inside...
every touch, every hug, every little thing...

its stupid... i kno...
but i dont kno what to do....
really, i dont kno what to do, what to say, what to think, what to feel.
he's right when he says that its better to be close friends than to ruin what we have.
CLOSE? WE'RE CLOSE??? HE BARELY TALKS TO ME!!! HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME!!

im overreacting....
i guess...

i have soo many questions... none that can be answered...
stupid...
im so stupid.....

THEIF!!!

Today, I was eating at House of Curries with my dad, and then on the other side of the street, we see this girl running. And then behind her running was a huffy puffy old man yelling "STOP HER!! SHE STOLE THAT JACKET!! STOP HER!!"
So I'm like woah, and my dad was like, "what he say?" and then that was it. We went back to eating.
5 mins later, we see that girl on the other side of the street again, and it seemed like she jumped the fence to get to where she was, she then ran across the street into the parking lot next to House of Curries, and we didnt see her again.
EXCITEMENT~!!