I'M IN LOVE WITH A GAY GUY~

Nothing new.

feeling ok~

I don't feel like shit.
FINALLY.
Ever since even before school started, I felt MISERABLE.
I would cry at least once every week.
I didn't want to see some of my friends even when I saw them.
I didn't want to be a part of NSU anymore.
I didn't want to be in Berkeley in general. But then again, how life was treating me, it was like god was telling me to get out of Berkeley to begin with. Goodness... my Christian friends are going to be like "It's a test!" okok! I get it! Please remember that I'm Buddhist, meaning that I probably did something shitty in this life or in my last to deserve this suffering.
But right at this moment (it might change... who knows!) I don't think about my balcony, I don't think about going home and staying there, I don't think about trying to ditch all the friends that I have and become a hermit, or stay in the lab, or anything.

haha, lets see how long this lasts. I give it a week.

Billy.

So, he was a baby for a few weeks, now he's advertising?
O, who's Billy you ask?
He's that guy, with the umbrella.
Or that guy with the upsidedown bicycle.
Or that guy with the computer.
Or that guy with the really weird hat that usually covers his face.
Billy is a character, and recently, he's been like... holding on to different fliers or jerseys...
I remember the first time I've ever saw him, he was holding a lap top on his head and like... going up and down on Sather gate. Ok, it's kinda hard to describe, but... I was like, so this is Berkeley huh.....
He supposedly eats out with some of the ppl in the diff clubs out on Sproul.... weird.....

EXCUSE ME?

Go away.
Just go away.
I know your reading this.
I don't need you to make me mad.
I don't need any kind of motivation from you.
Hell, of course I'm having more fun now than in HS, but what's it to you? Dad said that college is supposed to be the best times of my life, and I listen to my dad.
In case you were wondering, I lost about... 3-4 friends because of you. The state I'm in now for having just lost one friend?? THINK ABOUT THEN!! One of them, I can care less for if anything happens to her, in fact I hope something horrible does just so she can learn that her life ain't that bad at all. But the others...
I don't need you drunk texting me about how pissed you are. I don't need your random emails telling me anything. Just leave me the fuck alone! You have no business with me anymore. What's past is past, and I told you I won't regret it, but you acting like a stalker is making me regret ever meeting you. Ever talking to you. Ever giving you my phone number.
I see that you need to delete the past to move on. I don't. You're still there, it's just I can care less. I have more important things to worry about.
So.
What you gonna do now, huh?

im sick

Yes, I am sick. My nose runs, I cough, and I sneeze like there is no tomorrow.
But there is something else.
I'm sick OF doing the dishes.
I'm sick OF putting away the dishes.
I'm sick OF clearing the way so that people can walk through the living room.
I'm sick OF studying and not retaining anything.
I'm sick OF looking at flies.
I'm sick OF going to class.
I'm sick OF feeling like I've done something wrong.
I'm sick OF feeling jealous.
I'm sick OF being depressed.
I'm sick OF....
feeling useless...
Berkeley....