selfish post, forgive me...

this is going to be selfish and since no one reads this, it should be fine~

.... ar;ljdg;flkajsd;fkljasdf


I'm an idiot. That explains everything. Like a guy, and I'm an idiot for it.
I feel like I can't do anything. I can't call him, I can't IM, texting him comes disappointment... Like, I just cant do anything.... I CAN'T!
I want to talk to him, I want to hang out, I want to do so many things... but I can't.
I do and say the most retarded things, and what good does that do me? More distance? great...
I don't mean anything malice with what I do or say... it just happens...
I want to say I'm sorry, but what am I sorry for???

why do i like you? why do i care?
I DONT KNOW..............
you'd think that if this was just a small crush, you'd be out of my mind by now, but no, ur still there.... and it hurts...
everything hurts.... its stupid. it really is.
like really... its stupid..... v_______________v

everytime our hands touch.... i just... cant help but melt a little inside...
every touch, every hug, every little thing...

its stupid... i kno...
but i dont kno what to do....
really, i dont kno what to do, what to say, what to think, what to feel.
he's right when he says that its better to be close friends than to ruin what we have.
CLOSE? WE'RE CLOSE??? HE BARELY TALKS TO ME!!! HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME!!

im overreacting....
i guess...

i have soo many questions... none that can be answered...
stupid...
im so stupid.....