sleeeeppy

no, not really.

so, since thursday, i've been feeling EXTREMELY anxious. like, to the max.

i feel really really nervous over... i think nothing. there's nothing to be nervous about!

but in the pit of my stomach, there is that tumbling feeling....... and it wont go away.....

so far the only thing that works to bring it down a bit is walking, or going to the rsf, or laughing hysterically (thanx btak~)... but then it comes back like... an hour later~

*cry*

one of my grad students got married yesterday, and it was the first wedding i've been to~

i've been to receptions before, but this is the first time i saw the bride and the groom in one second be free then the next they are legally bounded to each other. it was great.

later that night i saw my professor get drunk. that was great. and i danced with one of my fav gay boys~

^_________^

WHY DONT PPL CALL ME AFTER I'VE CALLED THEM!??!?!?!?

pissy, really. i called my firend on monday and said, hey i'm going to pick up my guitar on friday, and he was like ok. i call him friday about 5 times cause i was in the area, and he didnt pick up, nor did he ever call me back! grargragrar...

yesterday, i called bob twice because i really want to talk to him, and to get rid of my feelings of anxiety, i wanted to go up to the big c as well. but nooooo, of course he doesnt pick up, and of course he doesnt call back.

my roommate actually convinced me to call up white boy afterwards and ask him to walk up with me. he actually answered!! and said he was busy at the mo, but call later that night and see whats up then. did he call back? no. i cried a lil inside. you know what he did instead? fb'd me. and said he just got back to his place and was tired and maybe next weekendish go and have bob go too?

T___________T

actually crying would be stupid, but i felt like crap.

i <3>

huge asshole, but his heart is somewhat in the right place. usually. maybe. i hope so!

im feeling very anxious right now.

its like blargblargblarg.

i want a hug. not just a small simple one.

thats stupid.

i want a good meaningful one.

too bad i cant get one of those anymore. who would i get them from?

unfortunately, i feel like its come to a time where my friends are the ones i dont hug, i hug awkwardly with, or i hug briefly with...

thats fucking horse shit.